Overcomitting Helps with Clarity

Overcomitting Helps with Clarity

Y’all, I cant tell my head from my ass right now.

It’s the second to last week of school, the final week of spring baseball {which I’m the team parent for both teams}, and I have a speaking engagement tomorrow evening.

This overwhelmed feeling doesn’t happen often because I intentionally attempt to set my life up in a way where I don’t over-commit.

My psyche is definitely at that shoelace factor level of stress. If you didn’t learn about that in high school psychology it’s when stressors keep happening that you dont process and then something as simple as a shoelace breaking sends you into a tailspin. You. Come. Undone.

Ever been there?

Me too.

It’s pretty natural right? I mean is anyone a master at processing everything as it happens?

The hardest part to process I think is when you do it to yourself. When you intentionally, or unintentionally, welcome the wide array of time and energy demanding tasks into your life.

Here’s what I’ve learned about me. If I dont have enough going on then I either get lethargic or I get way into my head. I start to overthink things and make up stories. About everything. Well, not everything. But almost everything. It’s part of having a mind that errs on the side of anxiousness.

So I like to have the things to do because then I stay in action. But there’s that super fine line between having just the right amount of obligations and too much. Going from being able to take action on the things that need to be done to being paralyzed from having way too many obligations at once.

It impacts everything.

Most importantly, it impacts the way I am at home and how I am around my kids. What’s my priority though? My kids. My husband. Wow…I legit was about to put myself third. And that’s why we are where we are with the inability to tell my head from my ass right now. {and also why I love writing free flow so much…oh the awareness that comes out}.

When I committed to the multi-month things I did what was in the forefront of my mind?

Mostly it was my belief that if I didn’t step up, no one else would. That since I’d taken on this role before that it would be second nature. Also, I can handle anything anyways.

Is that what you think to when you commit to stuff?

It’s not our fault that we are doers and leaders and people that want to make other peoples lives easier. But at what expense?

I’m trying. I promise I am. I want to lead and do so in a way that isn’t riddled with resentment. Or out of obligation. I want to do the things that are going to provide value and/or ease of mind to others but I haven’t been able to navigate it.

Well that’s not entirely true. In my professional life with the society I feel like since I’ve put that intentional focus on my capabilities it’s gotten exponentially better. It’s more so with the personal obligations.

Where do I go from here? Well before I started writing this I did a brain download of ALL the things that are required over the next 4 days. I had to to be able to open myself up to writing. When I realized that everything I wrote was in one color I saw just how dire my situation was. LOL…I’m joking, kind of.

Seriously though, from here we get back to not agreeing to or taking on things that aren’t a ‘hell yea”. We will continue to attempt to remember that if it’s a long term commitment that we will ensure we say no. Short term commitments: that’s fine. Long term… I can’t do it without freaking out. That’s been proven to me REPEATEDLY over the past 18 months.

Self awareness baby. That’s what it’s all about. Knowing how your mind and brain work.

I do want to contribute and help but this long term stuff that involves coordination from other people… once again proves to not serve in a positive way.

Are you relating to any of this? Whens the last time you committed to something because you wanted to or because you knew you would be bringing your gifts? Are there any situations that keep repeating for you? Maybe you have short term commitments but need more time to get things done? Whatever it is…look at the things in your life that are draining you and try to find common themes. It may take a while but the introspection can help guide you in the future.

Love,
Marcian

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