How to Know When It's Time to Throw in The Towel

How to Know When It's Time to Throw in The Towel

As some of you know, I had a previous business before Charmed Cardinals. It was a product based business called MagnifiCuffs.

I remember a few months in when I heard the failure rate of first time businesses I thought "no way, not me". The thought of giving up on it literally made me sick. I think my guttural response was because I KNEW I was in a dead end situation. Not only was I not serving anyone else, the company no longer served me. It took away way too much. I had to disidentify from the business.

Trying to wait, work, wish my way out of the discomfort just prolonged the pain and made it worse.

And although I had to shut that down, and it hurt so much, it still led me to where I am now. Doing my life's work with Charmed Cardinals and the Connector Conferences.

Speaking of life's work, I gotta get real with you. This time last week I was DONE. Ready to ball up the Charmed Cardinals society and throw it over a mountain. Yea that sounds dramatic but when you have given your blood, sweat and tears for years and start to see what had been a roaring fire turn to a couple logs with embers the emotional response could be to pour water over it.

After months of message after message from members leaving the society I felt very fragile and on edge.

Then I had the brilliant idea to commit myself to "learning the books". Yes, 3 years after starting the society I decided it was time to get clear on the numbers. Dont you dare judge me...this shit aint easy running a business on your own. The society lived hand to mouth never acquiring debt while I outsourced my numbers.

I intuitively knew though that if I was going to legitimately grow the society and the Connector Conference into the empire that it should be I had to embrace the reality of the numbers. Guess what I learned from "the books". Numbers are mean. Well...not really, but they dont lie. The society was an unofficial non-profit. My household was basically paying to keep it going with the loads and loads of time I invested in growing and maintaining.

And member after member leaving they proved that the society was no longer needed.

Was it really what they said it was? "I can't make it to events." "I need to cut back on some things." "It's not you, it's me."

That's neither here nor there. Everything I teach is about being true to yourself. Doing inventory on what serves you and what doesn't. Keeping what does and eliminating what doesnt.

So I let them go (lol, not like I had a choice!) with respect and reverence that they knew what was best for them at that time.

While learning the books I started going through Paypal transaction after Paypal transaction of "Subscription Canceled". It took a toll and I started to really believe that the society was unnecessary.

That what I'd spent years working on was no longer needed.

That women don't need what the society has to offer.

Here's the thing though, they do.

Maybe not all women. But a lot. I see it, I know it and I can feel it in my core.

I didn't ask to be a visionary. Or want to be one.

It would be so much easier for me to have my head up my ass and be ok with seeing woman after woman give into the idea that "this is just the way it's supposed to be".

Telling herself: I am supposed to be the center of everyone's universe, except for mine. I am responsible for making sure everything is taken care of and that my family, friends, community are all ok. If I dont take care of it, it wont get taken care of. Then if there's anything left (which there wont be) I'll prioritize myself.

I'm calling bullshit.

And I have been for over 6 years now. Ever since I recognized a pattern in every.single.woman in her 40's - 50's that I encountered in the Safeway, the Quiznos, the ice cream shop, Ross...basically any public area where humans went. While I pushed my baby in the stroller with my toddler next to me the resentment in these women was palpable.

I observed them and determined what I believed to be their damage. A passion-less life filled with commitments to everyone but themselves.

I determined back then that I would not have that future.

The awareness opened my eyes to each thing that entered my life and made me feel a little bit alive. And somewhere along the way the universe thought it would be beneficial if I took on the role of identifying and bringing some others girls along for the ride. That's how the society began.

It was a slow and steady start and then we had significant growth. Followed by the above scenario of a mass exodus. Would it be easier to just focus on keeping myself happy and fulfilled as a human? Yea. It would be WAY easier and so much less work.

But I cant. Not now. Not yet. I tried. I really did.

My brain, spirit, soul and little Marcia wouldnt let me quit. Neither would a few of our die hard society members (lol I love you girls!).

I'm being propelled forward by something that I can't explain. I don't think it's faith. And I know it's not stubbornness. But I have recommitted myself to the society and making the alterations that I see needed to make sure that it is in total alignment with my needs as a leader and who it will best serve.

Luckily I felt those feelings of doom and defeat very thoroughly and was able to honor the entire process through that very LOW low. I am forever grateful for my very strong and stable support system that was able to add logic to my emotion. And not to forget, an internal pull that wont let me stop.

Through this recent process and my previous experience with a failed business Imma try to help you here...

Exercise for whether it's time to throw in the towel or tie it across your chest like a Miss America sash:

First determine why it is you began what it is you are doing.

Next: are you able to coherently explain to yourself and others in just a few sentences what it is?

Have you been able to gain any momentum with it?

Do you see a future with it?

If you see a future with it, does it look expansive and positive or stressful and bleak?

Are you currently in the position to give this thing everything you've got to make it succeed?

Is there someone who has been in a similar position as you that you can review their path? Did they quit? Do they say why they quit? Are they still going strong? Can you learn from them in any way?

The most important question you can ask yourself is: does this thing serve you anymore? {meaning does the good outweigh the bad...or is there at least some good to it}

Listen sweet pea, if it doesn't, it's ok. I promise. But the longer you tie yourself up in something that doesn't serve you the harder it's going to be. Get real with yourself like I did. Talk to trusted confidants. Do guided meditations like this one. Do the next.right.thing. Your heart and soul will show you what it is you need to be doing and where you need to be headed.

Even though it's difficult to share, I do so with you because I wholeheartedly know the struggle. I hope you gain some clarity on things in your life by reading this post. I want you to know you aren't alone and that you are empowered enough to make decisions that have your best interest in mind.

You got this! Just remember: if you're not alright, nothing is going to be alright.

I'll see you here next Wednesday! Until then, keep connecting the dots.

Best wishes,
Marcia

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